We have lived and breathed in our new home and life for the past month/4weeks. Unpacking our few belongings, settling in and embracing, saying hello, drinking wine, eating biltong. Its been exhilarating and overwhelming. Mostly it’s been a beautiful time filled with what feels like abundance. Comparable to when I held my newborns and soaked up the newness and beauty of them and our choice to have them enter our world and expand our lives.
It’s been a couple of months of distracted living. I mean distracted from sharing and blogging. We had to do farewells and find a way to squeeze ten years of accumulation, into ten boxes. Ten boxes that would fly with us, so they had to be of specific measure and weight.
So we laboured and then the inevitable …
The pushing phase…Stage 2 (some breath, some grunt and some of us growl and scream)
Here is how I felt and what I captured on my note pad, once we finally were in flight, on our way to our new chosen life:
‘Sitting on an Ethiopian plane descending into Dublin.
We did it and we are finally crowning.
Pushing is the not necessarily the favourite stage. It burns, it’s a huge effort, it’s scary and then it’s a whole new way of being.
This has been the birth of a new life
Expecting to know some of what it holds or might look like, and yet knowing there is nothing familiar about what we are about to experience.
It’s exciting and exhilarating and nerve wrecking. I feel content and exhausted and ready to look at it, hold it in my arms and nurture it to its full potential and health.
The most overwhelming feelings; gratitude and awe. Our plan is being executed and its all becoming real. AWESOME
We packed up our life into ten pieces of luggage, definitely had a few overweight boxes.
We had beautiful gatherings with loved ones. Celebrating with family and friends who help us remember the time and space of the past ten years.
People have come into our lives that brought incredible learning, joy, guidance, acceptance and love. So many incredible true friendships, soul-family.
I see more clearly now how much people really are mirrors for one another. And how our ideas, plans and dreams put into action made others review theirs. How interesting to hear people’s hearts.
I feel graceful and at ease and hope I will remain in this state through the challenge ahead.
The wish is to stay aware of my truth and stand humbly, tall and in my power, head held straight, eyes on the blue sky.
I have said goodbye before, not recognising the magnitude and intensity, not understanding yet, that when you get what you want, you lose what you have. This time I have a memory of what it means, and its heavy… We create space by letting go, nothing will ever be as before.
It’s the same when a person is born into our world, life cannot be as before.
So saying goodbye to a familiar space, saying goodbye to a way of being with friends and family and things. Letting go of so much to make space for the new. …Because if a tree held on to all its leaves, flowers, fruit, and seeds through each season how would it work, agh!.. the weight of it.
Everything has a cycle and a time. Knowing when it’s time to let go, is the challenge, and letting go without feeling a debilitating loss, well…that is more than a challenge.
Give time for grieving and goodbyes.
Tears like rain make flowers grow, without it, it all dries up.
Who made us so afraid of our tears
of others seeing our eyes water.
Why is showing our vulnerable side so scary
and at times frowned upon.
It’s behind the most vulnerable
babies, children, the wet earth after the first rains, the last day of winter.
It’s those moments that moves us most.
Show your most vulnerable side and suddenly the power is for everyone.
South Africa! my heart land! I have missed you every day.
I have lived a journey, I’m excited to share and just be in your company.
I can’t wait to be and hear and witness up close who we are these days under this African sun.’
[And next I will answer the question WHY?, so many ask me daily with a great big frown.
I will also try to describe and tell some of what we have experienced thus far in this complicated land I am happy to live in.]